Of the four communication styles, assertiveness allows us to express our needs and wants in the most healthy, respectful way. An assertive communication style demonstrates we’re aware of the rights of others and are willing to work towards resolving conflicts.

What is Assertive Communication?

Assertive communication allows us to advocate for ourselves while respecting and encouraging the boundaries and beliefs of others. As assertive communicators, we express our thoughts and feelings directly and honestly. Assertiveness facilitates mutual understanding and negotiation. 

Traits of Assertive Communicators

Assertive communicators demonstrate that they value the emotional, physical, and mental needs of everyone in the conversation. They speak in a calm tone of voice, listen without interrupting, and maintain eye contact.

An assertive communication style is characterized by three C’s:

  • Confidence: 

    You are not afraid to speak vulnerably. You are actively open and honest.

  • Clarity: 

    You state needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully.

  • Control: 

    You are mirroring the other person and adjust your tone or body language when necessary. You’re using language that shows empathy and trust.

Assertive communication is characteristic of a healthy relationship. It is a communication style that makes us feel more connected to others.