Staying Sober After a Breakup: Tips and Strategies for Success

Break-ups can cause intense emotions and significant life changes. Throughout all the discomfort, you may feel the urge to drink. Try these tips to stay sober as you tackle the pain of a break-up head-on.

Remember That This Pain Is Temporary

Break-ups hurt, but you can draw comfort from one simple fact -- the pain will lessen over time. Everything you feel right now is temporary. 

Think back to other difficult moments in your life and how you no longer feel that pain with the same intensity. Soon the emotion of this break-up will fade too. It won't happen overnight, but you will feel better.

Look for the Lessons

Try to evaluate the relationship like an outside observer. What went wrong? What should you look for in a partner in the future? Think of this relationship as practice for your next one. You can learn important lessons and grow stronger despite this heartbreak. In fact, your future relationship will prosper because you went through this experience.

Take care not to beat up on yourself, however. Sometimes people are just incompatible. A break up doesn't mean there's anything inherently wrong with you. As the saying goes, "There's a lid for every pot." You'll find someone who sticks to you like glue if you choose to keep looking.

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Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings

Recognizing what you're feeling and why you feel it can be beneficial during the healing process. But it's also challenging to verbalize the emotions you feel. 

Talking to a member of the Confidant team can make it easier to name your emotions and understand why you feel them. You might be surprised at how you feel, like sad, angry, bitter, resentful, embarrassed, shocked, betrayed, or lonely. 

Once you understand what you're feeling and why your Confidant team can help you come to terms with it and develop a game plan for a more positive mindset. The coping skills you learn during this difficult time can help you later in your life.

Remember That Substance Use Won't Make the Break-Up Less Real

This is the most powerful advice of all: no matter how drunk or high you get or how long you stay that way, the pain of your break up will still be there when you come out of it. Your circumstances won't magically change because you didn't feel the pain for a little while. In fact, masking the pain with substance use will prolong it. 

Tell yourself that you got sober for a reason. You have already been through trials and tribulations during recovery, and you've always made it through to the other side. This will be no different.

Immerse Yourself in Something That Makes You Grateful to Be Alive

It's tempting to stay in bed all day when you're mourning a break-up. Instead, spend some time in public places to remind yourself that the world keeps turning. 

Stay busy doing things you love to keep your mind off the break-up, such as exercising, spending time with friends, volunteering, being creative, traveling, or trying something totally new. There's way more to life than dating and romantic relationships, 

No one expects you to automatically know how to cope with a break-up, even if it's not your first. Advice from our Confidant team may be the leg-up you need to get back in the saddle.

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