How can I recognize my limits in my relationship with my loved one?

Recognizing your limits can increase the health and functionality of your relationship. It's not always easy to identify your limits, though, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you to reflect on your boundaries. 

What Topics of Discussion Always Go Badly?

If you have felt scared, overwhelmed, or angry beyond control at your loved one, ask yourself what situations caused these emotions. Suppose that both you and your partner always feel frustrated about discussing household chores, or that you and your partner always come to angry words when it comes to money. 

Has Your Loved One Gotten Into Emotional States That You Felt You Couldn't Handle?

It can be scary when your loved one is experiencing an emotion you cannot soothe.  There is a natural limit, though, because you can't fix everything.  We can change our expectations to match it, so we don't feel responsible for the emotions of our loved ones. 

Do You Extend Yourself in Ways That You Later Regret?

You can ask yourself if you help your partner in ways that end up hurting you. Sacrifices (of time, money, work, etc.) that drain your ability to take care of yourself are beyond your relationship limits. 

Do You Find Yourself Fixating on Particular Interactions With Your Loved One?

If you worry about and replay past interactions with your loved one, you may be spending a lot of energy trying to solve a problem that is outside of your limits. You can stay within your limits by giving your mind some space. Don't let anxiety about the behavior of your partner threaten to overwhelm it.

Know the Signs of Your Limits

These questions are designed to help you recognize your limits in your relationships. They can help you understand the signs of a relationship pushing the boundaries and create positive solutions.