American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg developed nonviolent communication (NVC) in the 1960s. It is a tool for communicating during challenging situations and built on the concept that everyone is capable of compassion and finding solutions to conflict.
The Four Components of Nonviolent Communication
Nonviolent communication includes four components:
- Observation
- Feelings
- Needs
- Requests
Observation refers to using your senses to determine what is happening. The observation should be factual, kept in context, and be free from criticism or assumptions.
Feelings make up the next component and Rosenberg distinguishes them from thoughts. Feeling relate to needs while thoughts involve judgments. "My boss will think I'm a failure if I'm late," is a thought created from an assumption, "I feel stressed when I'm late to work," is a feeling related to a need.
The third component is an understanding of our needs. When we communicate nonviolently, we operate on the knowledge that all humans have the same needs, even though our fulfillment strategies may differ.
Requests are distinct from demands. A demand involves the expectation of fulfillment; a request comes with respect for the other person's potential needs.
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